Co-parent with confidence
Use our Free Co-parenting App
A court can only end a marriage if it has jurisdiction, and for divorce that usually means one spouse has lived in the state for a set period. Six months is the most common figure; some states ask for a year, a few for as little as six weeks. Many states add a shorter county residency requirement on top.
If you have recently moved, this is the first thing to confirm. Filing before you qualify gets the case dismissed, and you lose the fee.
Nearly every state now offers a no-fault ground — "irreconcilable differences", "irretrievable breakdown", or simply incompatibility. You do not have to prove wrongdoing, and in most states your spouse cannot prevent the divorce by disagreeing that the marriage is over.
Some states still allow fault grounds such as adultery, cruelty or desertion. They are used much less than people expect, because proving them costs money and in most states changes nothing about how property is divided.
The opening document is called a petition or complaint for dissolution of marriage. It identifies both spouses and any children, states the ground, and sets out what you are asking the court to order — how property should be divided, whether support should be paid, and what the parenting arrangement should be.
What you ask for here is a starting position, not a commitment. It can be amended, and most cases settle on terms different from the opening petition.
You file with the clerk of the court in the county where the residency requirement is met. Filing fees commonly run between $100 and $450 depending on the state. Every state has a fee waiver process — usually called a fee waiver, in forma pauperis, or an affidavit of indigency — for people who cannot pay. Ask the clerk for the form; it is routine and there is no penalty for using it.
The clerk stamps the petition, assigns a case number, and the case exists from that moment.
Your spouse has to be formally notified. You cannot simply hand them the papers yourself in most states. The usual routes are the sheriff's office, a private process server, certified mail with return receipt, or — the cheapest and calmest option — your spouse signing a waiver or acceptance of service.
Service is the step that most often stalls a case, so it is worth asking your spouse in advance whether they will sign an acceptance.
Your spouse typically has 20 to 30 days to file an answer. What they do next sets the shape of the case:
Both sides have to disclose income, assets, debts and expenses. In many states this is automatic and mandatory, with a deadline measured from the date of service. This stage is dull and document-heavy, and it is also where a settlement either becomes possible or does not — you cannot divide what neither side has seen.
The large majority of divorces settle without a trial. Settlement may come from direct negotiation, from lawyers, or from mediation. What you reach is written up as a marital settlement agreement and submitted to the court.
If you cannot agree, the unresolved issues go to a judge, who decides them. Trials are expensive, slow and public, which is why so few cases reach one.
Most states impose a mandatory waiting period between filing and finalisation — commonly 30 to 90 days, occasionally six months or more. It runs regardless of whether you agree on everything.
When the waiting period has passed and the terms are settled, a judge signs the final decree or judgment of dissolution. That document is the one that actually ends the marriage and binds both of you to its terms.
Collect your financial documents first — tax returns, pay statements, account statements, mortgage and loan paperwork, retirement statements. You will need them for disclosure regardless, and they are considerably easier to gather before a case is open than after.
Warning: This post is neither financial, health, legal, or personal advice nor a substitute for the advice offered by a professional. These are serious matters, and the help of a professional is recommended as it can impact your future.