First Things First doesn’t get written about often, which is partly why the practitioners who own it tend to keep owning it. The information barrier to entry is real even when the technical barrier isn’t.
Aimed at mediators at any career stage who have started seeing referrals in First Things First and want to know what the work actually looks like once you commit to it.
Mediation involving First Things First often benefits from explicit education for both parties on the substantive issues before negotiation begins. A mediator who spends 20 minutes walking both parties through the basics of First Things First levels the information asymmetry that often blocks productive discussion. This is education, not advocacy — and it’s a core mediator skill.
The first meeting
A useful intake habit: ask the client to articulate, in their own words, what they’re hoping the engagement will produce. The answer reveals where the client’s expectations align with what First Things First engagements actually deliver and where they don’t. Closing the gap before the engagement starts saves significant friction during the matter.
The intake conversation for First Things First matters does most of the work of the engagement. Practitioners who run a structured intake — covering the client’s objectives, the timeline they’re working with, the co-professionals on the case, the data and documents needed, and the form the deliverable will take — produce engagement letters that hold their shape through the matter. Practitioners who run an unstructured intake produce engagement letters that get rewritten or absorb scope creep silently.
The substantive work
Communication discipline during the middle phase prevents most of the problems that show up at the deliverable. Practitioners who send the client weekly or biweekly written updates — even short ones — maintain trust and surface issues early. Practitioners who go silent during the analytical work leave the client to imagine what might be happening, which is rarely productive. For deeper reference, see ABA Model Standards of Conduct for Mediators.
Analytical work during the middle phase often produces interim findings that affect the engagement scope. A finding the client didn’t anticipate may open new questions; a finding consistent with expectations may close lines of inquiry. The engagement letter should anticipate these scope adjustments and provide a path for handling them without requiring full re-papering.
Producing the work product
The deliverable for a First Things First engagement is the work product everyone will reference for years afterward. It needs to be defensible (your analysis can withstand scrutiny), readable (the client and any non-specialist can understand it), and complete (it addresses what the engagement was scoped to address). The deliverable usually takes 20-40% of the engagement hours; underestimating this consistently produces matters that run over time.
Most First Things First deliverables follow a consistent format that practitioners refine over multiple matters. An executive summary at the top. Background and scope. Methodology. Findings. Conclusions and recommendations. Appendices with supporting documentation. Practitioners who maintain a template they refine engagement by engagement produce stronger deliverables faster than those who reinvent the format each time.
When the standard doesn’t apply
Matters with unsophisticated clients require more explanation, slower pacing, and more deliverable walk-through time than matters with sophisticated clients. Practitioners who run the same engagement structure regardless of client sophistication produce uneven outcomes; calibrating to the client is part of professional judgment.
First Things First engagements vary along a few predictable dimensions: client sophistication (institutional client vs. unsophisticated individual), case complexity (single straightforward question vs. multiple intertwined issues), opposing-side cooperation (cooperative vs. adversarial), and timeline pressure (negotiated timeline vs. court-imposed deadlines). Each dimension affects how the standard engagement pattern needs to adjust.
If you’re considering First Things First as a focus area and you want one concrete commitment to make: pick the upcoming family-law conference closest to you and commit to attending every year for the next five years.
How VennBoard fits in
If you’re building a focus on First Things First, the case-management infrastructure matters more than most practitioners think going in. VennBoard is built specifically for family-law-adjacent practitioners and handles the document organization, the multi-party coordination, and the engagement-management that makes long-arc matters manageable.
Practitioners interested in seeing VennBoard’s case-management infrastructure for First Things First work can learn more at VennBoard.com.